You know that feeling when you're done talking with someone you love on the phone or on Skype, that split second where you hear that annoying tone alerting you that the person on the other line is no longer there? Your conversation is done; maybe your phone dropped them, or their phone dropped you, or you just came to a good ending point. Either way, you've been disconnected. You can no longer hear their voice or see their face.
I've never liked that feeling, that moment of loneliness, of being the only one on the line, of not being connected. My instinct is to quickly hang up so as to not be the one left hanging.
As human beings, we long for connection with other human beings. We long to be heard, touched, LOVED. We fear rejection, loneliness, disconnection. It is often this fear that drives so many of our actions. Sometimes we become the first to push away, to hang up the phone. 'I might still end up alone, but at least I was the one who chose it. I wasn't the unwanted one, the forgotten one, the undesired one.'
But our call is one to love, not one of fear. I can't not pick up the phone because I'm afraid of hanging up.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Friday, June 19, 2015
decisions...kind of
So I've decided to stay in the San Diego area with the wonderful girls who were so kind to make their home open to me in my desperate time of need. I can't say enough about how much I love and appreciate these girls - I love living with them and sharing this part of my life with them. <3
As far as work goes, I was working for a temp agency as well as doing editing gigs here and there on the side. My first assignment at the agency was pretty cool. I was a customer service rep for an online mortgage company. It was pretty cool and consistent...for about a month, but I guess that's what it's like when you work for a temp agency, who knew! This was my first experience.
Now, however, I want to refocus on a job that will actually lead me closer to a full time career. I'm not entirely sure what that looks like, but I figure that as long as I keep working on film projects I'm good, right? We'll see. Sometimes I feel like a lost, confused little soul, looking everywhere to find where she belongs, but at the same time, looking nowhere, if that makes any sense. I just tend to want to try new things all the time. I want to experience adventures and explore the unknown so much that I loose focus on one thing that I should be striving towards. I'm still not entirely sure what that one thing that I should be striving towards looks like, but I guess maybe starting in the area I got my degree in may just be a good start. ;)
Anyway, I definitely don't have any answers, I don't even know where I'm going or where I'll be in 4 months, but I've decided to just live in the moment, love those I'm surrounded with, trusting that God will lead me where He wants me.
Well, thanks for reading!
Love,
Ivana
As far as work goes, I was working for a temp agency as well as doing editing gigs here and there on the side. My first assignment at the agency was pretty cool. I was a customer service rep for an online mortgage company. It was pretty cool and consistent...for about a month, but I guess that's what it's like when you work for a temp agency, who knew! This was my first experience.
Now, however, I want to refocus on a job that will actually lead me closer to a full time career. I'm not entirely sure what that looks like, but I figure that as long as I keep working on film projects I'm good, right? We'll see. Sometimes I feel like a lost, confused little soul, looking everywhere to find where she belongs, but at the same time, looking nowhere, if that makes any sense. I just tend to want to try new things all the time. I want to experience adventures and explore the unknown so much that I loose focus on one thing that I should be striving towards. I'm still not entirely sure what that one thing that I should be striving towards looks like, but I guess maybe starting in the area I got my degree in may just be a good start. ;)
Anyway, I definitely don't have any answers, I don't even know where I'm going or where I'll be in 4 months, but I've decided to just live in the moment, love those I'm surrounded with, trusting that God will lead me where He wants me.
Well, thanks for reading!
Love,
Ivana
Thursday, April 2, 2015
update
I haven't blogged here for a really long time. If I happen to have any readers, I sincerely apologize!
Life has been very...interesting for the last few months.
I visited Europe for 6 weeks, which was absolutely crazy and wonderful and difficult all mixed together! If you would like to know about those adventures, check out the blog that my friend and I kept while we were out there: europeorbust2015@wordpress.com.
Now, I'm in the midst of post-grad craziness! I'm trying to find a place to live in beatiful Southern California and get my foot in the door as a freelance editor. All I have to say is wow! I didn't know how difficult life would be after college! I am continually blown away by the craziness and struggles that I am required to face everyday, but also by the kindness and generosity of the people around me.
I know that God is not letting me go and that He has a plan, I just don't exactly know what that plan is yet, but hey, that's what trust is all about, yeah?
In the meantime, I became a consultant for a wonderful little Swiss company called Arbonne. It's all about helping people take charge of their health and feel great about themselves from the inside out! I am very excited for the ways that Arbonne is going to challenge me as well as help me learn more about some of the things I love: health and beauty!
Well, that's it for now. I'm so excited to be blogging again, so I'll keep you (whoever you may be) posted on what happens next!
Love,
Ivana
Life has been very...interesting for the last few months.
I visited Europe for 6 weeks, which was absolutely crazy and wonderful and difficult all mixed together! If you would like to know about those adventures, check out the blog that my friend and I kept while we were out there: europeorbust2015@wordpress.com.
Now, I'm in the midst of post-grad craziness! I'm trying to find a place to live in beatiful Southern California and get my foot in the door as a freelance editor. All I have to say is wow! I didn't know how difficult life would be after college! I am continually blown away by the craziness and struggles that I am required to face everyday, but also by the kindness and generosity of the people around me.
I know that God is not letting me go and that He has a plan, I just don't exactly know what that plan is yet, but hey, that's what trust is all about, yeah?
In the meantime, I became a consultant for a wonderful little Swiss company called Arbonne. It's all about helping people take charge of their health and feel great about themselves from the inside out! I am very excited for the ways that Arbonne is going to challenge me as well as help me learn more about some of the things I love: health and beauty!
Well, that's it for now. I'm so excited to be blogging again, so I'll keep you (whoever you may be) posted on what happens next!
Love,
Ivana
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