disconnected

You know that feeling when you're done talking with someone you love on the phone or on Skype, that split second where you hear that annoying tone alerting you that the person on the other line is no longer there? Your conversation is done; maybe your phone dropped them, or their phone dropped you, or you just came to a good ending point. Either way, you've been disconnected. You can no longer hear their voice or see their face.

I've never liked that feeling, that moment of loneliness, of being the only one on the line, of not being connected. My instinct is to quickly hang up so as to not be the one left hanging.

As human beings, we long for connection with other human beings. We long to be heard, touched, LOVED. We fear rejection, loneliness, disconnection. It is often this fear that drives so many of our actions. Sometimes we become the first to push away, to hang up the phone. 'I might still end up alone, but at least I was the one who chose it. I wasn't the unwanted one, the forgotten one, the undesired one.'

But our call is one to love, not one of fear. I can't not pick up the phone because I'm afraid of hanging up.